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Maya enjoying a Caribbean beach 2 weeks ago

We returned late the night of July 11 from Cancun, Mexico where we had vacationed for a week at the Riviera Maya. It had been an exhausting full day journey from the resort to our city of Denver, CO.  The following day, we had an appointment to get feedback from our daughter Maya’s evaluation for autism, which we had just before leaving.

Maya had been seeing a speech and OT therapist the past year for some delays, but we had been getting very encouraging signs about her progress.  We were being regularly told by friends that she did not appear to have the disorder.  Her OT therapist was also doubtful, particularly as we got close to the evaluation on June 24.  She was concerned about our time and energy being wasted with the lengthy evaluation.

As a result, we were also assuming that we would get a clean bill of health regarding our daughter, particularly me.  We discussed how we would handle it if we received the diagnosis of autism and we decided that there was no way to fully prepare.  We would just have to take the blow and begin the process of dealing with it; if that is where we would be.  And that is how it went.  The two psychologists met with us for two hours on the afternoon of the 12th in a small room and gave us the news upfront.  Then they patiently waited as we absorbed the hit and placed some tissue between us, which I soon required.  Then I tried to ask every question I could think of and to understand what I could, while being in the mental haze of  jet lag.

On the way home, after leaving a message with the OT therapist on the result, I bawled all the way home.  She called back and we chatted while I was parked in my garage.

Exploring a flower at the Mexican resort

 

 

 

"A lovely early morning walk with the elephants and their mahouts"

A friend that I met through the local vegetarian meet-up, Nasiya Amoroso, has impressed me with her volunteer efforts, along with those of her husband’s.  This past Spring, she told me about a trip she was going to embark on to an elephant sanctuary that sounded particularly enticing.  Then I thought about my family responsibilities and decided I will go when my toddler is older.  I asked her to allow me and others to experience it vicariously at least, by sharing her experience on my blog.  Following is her description of her trip, in her own words, in three parts.  Stay tuned the next few days for the remaining parts.

Part 1

“I try to take a volunteer vacation every year and I usually try to experience a different volunteer location every time. So, I couldn’t understand why my husband chose to return to Zambia every year to build houses. I understand about commitment and wanting to establish roots in one location so you can see progress (which is what lead him to create www.zambiabuild.org), but I always felt the urge to try something new every year.

That is, until I discovered Elephant Nature Park outside Chiang Mai, Thailand: www.elephantnaturepark.org

I’m an animal advocate, but surprisingly have never been on a volunteer trip that directly affects animals. But my experience at the Elephant Nature Park (ENP) was absolutely surreal and each time it leaves me with the wheels turning, making plans for the “next time”.

Elephant trekking, circus shows, elephant street begging, elephant painting, and other forms of elephant tourism may seem harmless and make the elephants look “happy” doing what they do.  But, there’s nothing “happy” about their situation. Most of these elephants go through the Thai pajaan technique (look it up online) or other forms of torture in order to make them submissive.  If you see an elephant holding a paintbrush about to create a beautiful work of art, or riding a bicycle…THINK about what they might have gone through before performing that task.

The goal of ENP is to provide a safe haven for abused and/or neglected elephants so they can live a life as close to their natural habitat as possible. Lek, the founder, has rescued over 30 elephants with extremely heartbreaking stories. It’s hard to come here and not shed any tears.  The history of the rescued elephants are heartbreaking.  But the good thing is the tears you shed may also be tears of relief, as these majestic creatures are finally living a life they deserve to live.

ENP not only takes volunteers for days, weeks or months, but it’s also a revolutionary way to support ethical eco-tourism, as day visitors are also welcome.  You get to support the park and the rescue of these poor elephants through your volunteer dollars or park entrance fee.  But, you are not supporting the exploitation or abuse of these elephants since they are not in chains, nor confined and no bull-hooks are used. The elephants live their lives naturally, and you still get interaction with the elephants (you even have the opportunity to bathe them!).  Each elephant has a full-time mahout, so I never felt unsafe around any of the elephants.”

The Story of Mae Do

"Mae Do, one of the saddest stories before her rescue from ENP"

 

It is an interesting issue of perspective when disasters strike far from us and how much it impacts us here.  Often times, it is the role of the media that plays a big part in how emotionally connected we feel.  If the media does not discuss or show emotionally charged images of a disaster, people are less inclined to reach out.

Every place on the planet is far away for someone and thus can be cause for one to feel disengaged.  With the advancement of technology, places have become closer and closer.  Our world is more similar than dissimilar.  A relative recently commented on a photo of my daughter in Utah.  He said it looked like a photo of my ancestral village in Pakistan.  Both are deserts and geographically very similar.

We are all vulnerable one way or another.  If a disaster involved us, we would want the world to reach out to us.  Pakistanis affected by the floods, especially the children, deserve to be assisted.  They did not ask for this, just as the Haitians did not ask for the earthquake.  The magnitude of the disaster in Pakistan may end up being the greatest of the decade, yet the aid thus far has been a fraction of that provided for other recent tragedies.  The following article may provide some insight into why this is occurring:

4 Reasons Why Americans Aren’t Giving for Pakistan Flood Relief – International – The Atlantic

The comments below the article are interesting.  I am attaching the following that resonated in particular for me:

“Uncle_Fred 5 days ago
Wow. I don’t understand it. Here before us is America’s chance to make a positive difference. We all know this is a part of the world that associates the American brand with bombs and drones.

America is missing a golden opportunity.

Aren’t the troops and equipment a hop across the border? If they got the goods and the manpower, why isn’t America there to help these people?

Imagine the reaction in the Muslim world if they were beamed imagines of Americans helping Pakistanis in great numbers, assisting them as brothers in need. This could throw a wrench in the propaganda arsenal that radicals use to inflame militancy.

As an added benefit, it might help to stabilize the Pakistani element to the Afghanistan resistance. American soldiers might get to go home sooner!

Yes, it can be argued that previous help was ineffective in changing hearts and minds. A perfect example of this would be the earthquake that rocked the region a few years back. Nevertheless, the US has spent far more money and time bombing Pakistan then helping it.

Show the world your good intentions Americans. Show these people that you’re not their enemy. Consequently, the ill-will large swaths of the Muslim world feels towards poor US foreign policy can be partly alleviated.”

Support UNICEF’s flood disaster relief for the children of Pakistan

 

Observing birds and their nests on a bridge during a nature walk on Mother's Day.

Boredom is a subject many moms are looking at these days as summer break approaches for our kids. It’s a dreaded, scary word that prompts mom to feel inadequate. That’s not a difficult feat for moms on any given day. Seems to be a part of motherhood – our constantly trying to reach the perfect image in our minds. This is continually challenged by a toddler as she continually goes into and touches things she should not – and worse yet, when these items need to be explored with her mouth.

As I’m trying to keep my toddler from eating and touching things she shouldn’t, I am trying to make certain my preteen is “entertained.” Since when did the role of entertainer become a part of motherhood? Kids are getting increasingly entertained by the media and my specialization of marketing. Parents have to be the follow-up act, and it’s tough to accomplish.

My son brought up yesterday that he was bored, after a full few minutes of being in-between activities. I told him that was good! We’ve been engaging in chats here and there about the idea of boredom as we approach summer break. Some of the agenda behind this is selfish, so I don’t get inundated with continuous preteen shows that I already know more about than I care to.

Moms, the next time your child mentions the dreaded “I’m bored” sentence, accept it as a healthy part of life rather than feeling guilty and like you have to be a clown for your child. It is healthy for children to have “down time” when they can reflect and imagine.

Remind your child that if they feel bored, it means they’ve lost touch with the fascinating world around them and that now they can be more conscious of it. When they were younger, boredom was not a concept they knew about. I point out to my preteen how my toddler never gets bored because everything is new and interesting. This is a concept we should retain forever!

In fact, I don’t know of a single adult that ever complains of boredom. At least not a parent. Adults work hard to go on vacation and maybe, hopefully, “get bored.”

Birds building nests under a bridge

 

Today is the 40th anniversary of Earth Day and it’s a great day to reflect on ways we can be more environmentally-conscious.  Being conscious of my actions on the environment is a daily part of my life.   Ways that I maintain this consciousness on a regular basis include recycling and being a vegetarian.

I have been a vegetarian my entire life.  My diet and lifestyle began as a result of being from a vegetarian Indian family.  I’m glad I was raised that way as it seems much easier to just remain in the lifestyle rather than switching.  I chose to give my kids that gift by raising them vegetarian.

As a teenager, I researched vegetarianism and decided the lifestyle made sense to me at numerous levels, including environmental.  I was interviewed by the Vegetarian Times regarding my thoughts and beliefs.  I chose vegetarianism as my topic for Original Oratory in debate class competitions in high school.  I memorized the speech overnight and competed the next day with veterans.  I ended up being a quarter-finalist in the state of NC.  Judges told me that the speech opened their eyes and they would consider the diet.  I think the part of my speech that stood out the most for them was regarding the composition of hot dogs.

As an adult, I’m devoted to recycling.  My husband might call me somewhat of a hoarder at times because I don’t like to waste anything.  I was the first in my neighborhood to request an extra green bin from my town to hold my recycling and had my second regular black bin picked up (never need it).  In my family, we are trained to evaluate every piece of trash and determine if it goes into our recycling bin or regular trash bin.  This includes my preteen son.

I rarely use paper towels, preferring dish cloths for wiping up spills.  We regularly use cloth napkins at meals.  We use energy-efficient bulbs throughout the house along with any appliance purchases.  Left-over food is stored for future meals or given to our dogs.  Dogs can help a lot with recycling and preventing waste.  We make sure our dishwasher and washing machine is completely full before running it.  I remind my husband at least a few times a week to stop idling when I’m in the car with him.

We also compost.  We have a compost bin in our yard and are trying to perfect the art and science of composting.  Next to our trash and recycling containers in my kitchen pantry, we also have a compost container.  In there we put our vegetable scraps and anything else that can be composted, like dryer lint.  My husband and I debate somewhat the ingredients that will result in perfect compost.  It is a shared interest and goes perfectly with my gardening interest.  I like that not only am I not wasting and creating more junk for landfills, but helping my yard and garden out at the same time.

At my boutique, I offer environmentally-conscious fabric gift bags.  They are reusable, affordable, and save trees by replacing paper.

Fabric gift bags

Fabric gift bags at Komal Style Boutique

What are ways that you honor the Earth in your life?

 

As most people, I’ve watched helplessly as the tragedy in Haiti has unfolded.  Tears sprung to my eyes as kids searched for parents, with one girl wondering if any female that walked by was her mother.  My heart went out to parents that lost children or who had to hold their child’s hand to help them cope with the prospect of amputation, and further dealing with the impact of this for their grim future in Haiti.

Although we donated to the Red Cross, it seemed very passive and frustrating that more can not be done.  I’m sure many of us have felt the urge to get on a plane and be there, which of course is impractical given the country’s infrastructure barely being able to allow the planes that are trying to get there, and other impracticalities that would make us get in the way of helping, along with our responsibilities at home.

Many of us are turning to our faiths and spirituality to try to make sense of it all.  I believe in reincarnation and that we have souls that go on.  I like to believe that there is a bigger plan that we may not be aware of.  It is comforting to think that the souls who lost their physical bodies in Haiti will be born again to live out their purpose and journeys.

I believe that our souls have been around perhaps for different lengths, so some of us may have older souls than others.  I’m sure some of us have felt this when thinking of others in our lives!  It can make us more compassionate to others if they don’t seem to “get it” or appear immature for their ages.  Maybe their souls are younger??  I think this way about my ex.

Regardless of the above beliefs, I do feel strongly that we have to do what is within our power to try to make the world a better place.  It is our moral obligation and “dharma,”  which is related to performing good acts and achieving good “karma,” which lasts into future lives.

On a practical level, in the realm of what we can do, many of us want to make sure that what we do donate does the maximum good.   Organizations that can help with sorting out the most effective charitable companies include Charity Navigator and Guide Star.  There has been some controversy regarding the salary of the CEO of the Red Cross (apparently $500-$700k).  This has been compared to the salary of the CEO for Hope for Haiti (apparently about $53k).  It seems Hope for Haiti has been focused on helping Haiti and perhaps your money can go further towards helping Haiti by donating to this organization.

 

women_for_women_logoI have finally been matched with a sister in Afghanistan I’ve sponsored through Women for Women International.  The organization has had a great response recently, so it too them a few months to expand and match sisters.

It’s such a great concept to get specifics on a specific individual one is helping.  It personalizes world events that can be easy to shut off because they are not occurring in our neighborhood.  In the future, I hope to get a letter from her that I can show my preteen son.  I want him to know about a world beyond Ipods (what he wants for Christmas) and the latest video game system (another wish of his).

Sponsoring a female survivor of war through Women for Women allows me to feel more meaning in my life.  Maybe doing so would allow you to feel the same.  Unfortunately, there are many women that have had to struggle with the effects of war and could use a helping hand.  Make a donation by the 31st for a tax deduction in 2009!

Click here now to make your tax-deductible year-end gift by December 31st.

 

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An inevitable part of parenthood is the amount of clothes and other stuff our kids keep growing out of.  This means constant shopping for things that are age-appropriate and finding practical and non-wasteful ways to part with the items no longer needed.

One solution is Just Between Friends, the nation’s leading children’s & maternity consignment sales event franchise.  The concept was started in 1997 by Daven Tackett and Shannon Wilburn.  Starting from a living room, they now have events nationally.  Some events occur here, in the Denver area.  Just input your location to see where.  Shopping events occur about twice a year per location, where consignors can bring children’s and maternity merchandise to sell.

Shoppers can then clothe themselves if expecting or their children at significant savings.  Sellers can make up to 70% on sales.  A free on-line tagging system is also available.  Some proceeds and remaining donated items help local charities.

 
Young Ladies in Rajasthan, India

Young Ladies in Rajasthan, India

Often times, it can be so discouraging to watch the news. Watching world news, we see that we’re in our 8th year of war in Afghanistan. There is much going on just there, particularly for women and children, that leaves us feeling helpless. News of local crimes leaves us feeling even more helpless. What can I do about a crime against a local child that occurred yesterday? As a parent, hearing of such news is even more heart-wrenching. After the international flight that went down a few months a go, I thought for several nights about the child that perished and how his or her Mom must have felt right before, knowing what would happen.

It is encouraging to focus on the solutions and the people and organizations that focus on solutions. Supporting women who are survivors of war through Women for Women International is something that we all can do.  For $27 a month, we can help women build their lives and enrich the communities around them.  This eventually ripples back to our lives.  Another fascinating concept that anyone can use to make a difference is through microfinance.  An organization to provide a microfinance loan through is World Vision.   This process allows us to make a loan of even $25 to someone in an impoverished place to become an entrepreneur.  This is not a charity as the recipient pays back the loan with a success rate of about 98%.  The recipient is empowered and we feel less helpless to create change.

As my daughter turns 8 months today, I want to be able to tell her that I’m doing my part in her experiencing a better world. I want to role-model for my pre-teen son about caring for a world larger than our suburbs.

 

shopgoodwillrcsConvertAnother member of Time’s 50 best websites 0f 2009 is shopgoodwill.com.  The site is an alternative auction site to ebay.  It is cheaper and non-profit, with some of the profits going to educational programs for people with disabilities.  The site’s hot categories include art, clothing, toys, books and electronics.

Created and operated by Goodwill of Orange County in Santa Ana, CA, the site is the first internet auction site that has been created, owned and operated by a nonprofit.   Participation includes Goodwills from across the country with inventories of their donated goods encompassing estate items, collectibles, antiques and new or nearly new items.

Sales revenues fund the organization’s training, education and “job placement programs for people with disabilities and other barriers.”  The organization’s presence includes 5 continents.  In 2005, Goodwill helped over 846,000 people.

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