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Overcoming Obstacles

 Finding balance, Goals, Outlook, Personal Growth, Philosophy, Spirituality  No Responses »
Aug 102011
 

The topic of overcoming obstacles has been fascinating to me. How are some people able to come out of challenging situations negatively impacted while others thrive in their lives?

There have been various accounts of people getting caught in a similar difficult situation, but who came out of the experience feeling different – with some less negatively affected than others.  This could have been based on how they perceived their situation and whether they acted to overcome their circumstances and potential negative effect versus becoming passive.

What situations have you felt you’ve overcome well?  Are there tools that you developed that you rely on as a result to continue to overcome difficulties?

I’ve blogged about similar topics along with writing articles for magazines.  I’ve gotten to the point where I wanted to challenge myself with a bigger piece of work.  I’m now polishing up my first (hopefully) ebook entitled:  “In Search of Ganesha, the God of Overcoming Obstacles.”

Look for it within a week!  In it, I share my own experiences on this topic, my reflections, lessons I’ve learned (and still learning), along with tools I’ve found useful that I try to utilize.

Update 8/11/11:  Here is the link to purchase the ebook:  http://uploadnsell.com/buy/k3bEbI

 Posted by Pria at 1:29 pm  Tagged with: ,

Farewell My Dear Princess Pooja

 Finding balance, Loss, Musing on Death, Personal Growth, Relationships, Spirituality  No Responses »
Jun 062011
 

Pooja

My Dearest Pooja,

it feels challenging to even accept that I’m writing to you in the universe as of 6/3/11, rather than find you in my home, to tell you directly how much you have meant to me.  The words have been forming, and they feel inadequate.

  • You have been my anchor for 15 years.
  • You have been part of the definition of my existence.
  • My daily script included you.
  • We have been extremely loyal to each other and have been there together during ups and downs.  I nursed you through a life-threatening dog attack, hip surgery and various life changes, as you nursed me by being my constant, loving companion, though bossy and ornery at times, just as I was.

Dear Pooja, how do I continue my loyalty to you now?  How do I continue to take care of you now?  This phase doesn’t fit in the script of my life and function with you.  Where do I go from here?

I am not and was not ready for the story of you and me to end.  Maybe you knew that and you left me on a Friday when my husband could help that weekend with my daughter so I could grieve and also leaving after my son was out of school, as he will be there tomorrow when my husband goes back to work.  He is also spared having to face school during this time of healing.

I can not be mad at you because that would make me not loyal and devoted to you.  But I have felt mad at something for taking you away from me in a way that I can’t even get you back.  There is not a chance of reunion in this lifetime for me and when you got lost and I found you at the shelter.

Your passing does not have a solution like your previous wounds; I can not fix it, and I am not in control.  That must be part of the loyal, parental anger I feel.  I would not desert you and I would find you to the end of the Earth, as I know you would do for me.  But you are not on this Earth now and I have been paralyzed and lost with grief and shock.  Now what?  How do I march forward without you by my side?

You have been the security blanket I’ve unknowingly had for 15 years.  All was well at a basic, constant level when you were in the picture.  You helped me feel secure, grounded, centered, and loved.  It is hard to look at any space in my home and notice that you are not in it.  With you in my life, the days seemed sunnier, the flowers felt prettier, and smelled nicer.  I cared more about having my plants grow and enjoying the warmer weather with you.  I enjoyed the breeze through you, watching you sniff it, basking in the sun and environment around you in our back yard, just within the past week.  How do I experience and enjoy life without you?

Your deteriorating health sent me to tears, as I was forced to consider the inevitable with your age.  Reading about potential help with your ailments (that I was aware of) gave me hope, which I held to as you went to see the vet this Friday, 6/3.  I assumed you would come home that night with medication to fix things, and I would continue my regimen of caring for you and the rest of my kids.  I was not prepared to consider you may not come home.  Now I try to conjure up every moment of that day, as it ended up being my last with you.  Had I known it would be, would it be easier?  Or is it like children getting a vaccination shot, when you may not want them to know the exact moment and be distracted, to lessen the pain and fear of anticipation?

Your loyalty extended to my children, whom you watched enter the world, grow, and love you.  You chose to sleep near me at the end of the day, every single day, even when your back legs were failing you recently, and you would push your body up to your spot in my room and life.  When we limited how much you pushed your body by restricting you and you stopped protesting with your barks; I was filled with sadness, knowing your were resigning to a new phase.  This was not the Pooja I knew, and I was scared.

I am so sorry for being so bad at letting you go, and if that caused you further suffering and a heavier burden.  I’m sorry for my selfishness in thinking there would not ever be a good time for you to go.  You ended up looking after me even in your passing by ensuring I was with the support I needed.

As much as I hurt in losing you, I will never regret the love you brought in my life and that of my family the past 15 years, which will always be a part of me.  You have blessed me and my family immeasurably.  Thank you, Pooja, you are a “prayer” answered, as your name means.  I pray that I will see you someday, in your peak physical form, flying through the air to catch a frisbee and chasing tennis balls.

Tennis balls will remind me of you along with everything else.  For now, just waking up, breathing and looking at anything reminds me of you.  My heart aches and feels empty at the same time.  I don’t want to be disloyal by not thinking about you and letting you go in anyway feels disloyal.  Giving up your body felt disloyal.  I will never be able to feel your soft ears that felt like the plant lamb’s ear in my yard.

Two weekends ago, I was noticing your triangular ears perked up as you were lounging next to my husband in the park.  You did not look aged.  You were beautiful, majestic, serene, and proud.  Looking into your eyes felt like I was looking at an old soul and that you could see my soul.  I am grateful for choosing to look into those eyes as you passed from this world.  And then I looked at the dreaded sight of your body not going up and down with breath.  You were still.  Your eyes and gaze remained the same.

Pooja, I will love you forever.  You are a part of me and my family and always will be.  I will be honoring you every time I love and nurture my family that I will always be loyal to, as you have been.  Rest in peace, my Princess Pooja and now my angel.

Pooja, Colin, and Bhalloo 1/18/10

 

 

 Posted by Pria at 10:16 am  Tagged with: ,

The Butterfly Experiment

 Goals, Outlook, Philosophy, Spirituality  No Responses »
May 022011
 

At the Butterfly Pavillion in Denver

I’m on day 1 of an interesting experiment that I have not done exactly right and have already seen the desired result.  The experiment is about manifestation and personal transformation.

The process utilizes the spiritual laws of attraction.  This is about the idea that what you focus on expands or comes to you.  This means that if you focus on gratitude for that which you already have, it should expand.  Unfortunately, it also means that if you focus on something you’re unhappy about, that too will expand.

One of the “tricks” of manifestation is that if you are hoping for more of something like money, you can’t curse the lack of it in your life at the same time that you desire more.  So, in the spirit of fun and spiritual adventure, I decided to try this experiment in manifestation and the laws of attraction.  The premise is that by focusing on something tangible and simple like butterflies, you should be able to bring them into your life in some form, even if it’s a mention in a song or an image on a card.

So day 1 of the experiment called for 5-15 minutes of meditation (I did about 1 minute) and 17 seconds of visualizing butterflies (although I didn’t time it, I believe I managed this).  I planned on doing more of the meditation tonight.  Motherhood beckoned and I had a mom’s group at my Unitarian church to get to.  At the mom’s group, the preschool coordinator was asked to describe what the preschool kids would be doing today.  She held up a butterfly made with tissues and a clothespin (gasp!) and proceeded to describe how the kids would be making this butterfly craft.

I thought of what a psychic had told me years ago when I was a single mom to a boy – that I was an old soul, had the gift of manifestation which I should explore, and that he saw a girl in my future.  Now that I have a 2 year-old daughter, I wondered if the butterfly craft was affirming his manifestation reading about me.  It’s too soon to tell, but I am intrigued and will continue with the experiment to see if I manifest more butterflies and then perhaps to other agendas (like that million dollars, which my husband fully supports trying to manifest).

 

Source:  The Butterfly Experiment

 Posted by Pria at 2:56 pm  Tagged with: ,

Managing Stress

 Attitude, Finding balance, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Outlook, Philosophy, Self-Care  No Responses »
Apr 242011
 

Think about a relaxing waterfall.

Are you highly stressed or anxious?  Stress can wreak havoc on our health in many ways.  Here are some ways to manage it:

Keep Perspective

It is important to keep perspective.  When you feel up, keep notes.  When you feel down, take notes.  When you are down, read these notes to see how you got through it, and more importantly, that you did get through it.

When you are up, enjoy it, and know that you may go down…Don’t take life too seriously!  Remember that the only thing that remains constant is change, “this too shall pass.”

    Laugh

    Maintain a sense of humor and try to find something funny in everyday life.  Be around people that make you laugh.  Watch shows that make you laugh.  Find as many ways as possible  to laugh as much as you can daily.

    Journal

    Work through issues by writing down what is blocking you from the direction you want to go.  Is it you or external events?  What is going well?  What are you grateful for?  Make a list of what you want in all areas of your life.  Diagram the different areas – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual.  Fill in the boxes with what is working.  Which block seems more empty?  That area needs attention.

      Develop a support system

      Ensure you have adequate support to help you when times are tough.  Be comfortable with utilizing professional support including life coaches in addition to friends.  Even pets can be a source of comfort.

       

       

       

       Posted by Pria at 5:50 pm  Tagged with: , ,

      Loss and Gain

       Attitude, Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Gratitude, Outlook, Personal Growth, Philosophy  No Responses »
      Mar 312011
       

      My sleeping gain

      Lately, I’ve had to come to terms with the idea of loss more – something I think I’ve had to deal with in varying degrees with some challenging peaks.  It got to an overwhelming point and I had to remind myself how I got to the other “normal” side before.

      Loss is something we deal with everyday at different levels.  Everyday, our bodies are 1 day older and we gradually have to let go of a previous notion of what we could expect.  We become one day older and we have to let go of the previous day in order to embrace a new day and all that it offers.

      One aspect of loss is that it is often one side of a coin.  If we can manage to look enough, we can sometimes see the gain on the other side.  I experienced this gain as I kissed my smiling toddler before she went to slept.   This miraculous creature was in my life now and had not been there only two short years ago.  It is true that when one door is shut, another often opens, even if we have to be patient and wait for it or try to have enough awareness to notice it.

       Posted by Pria at 3:07 pm  Tagged with: ,

      10 Ways to Build Trust

       Communication, Finding balance, Outlook, Philosophy, Relationships  No Responses »
      Mar 102011
       

      Building trust with my pets and children

      All relationships are built on trust.  It affects how we see others and the world, how we approach situations and how much we’re willing to do for others.  High levels of trust allow us to be relaxed and at our best, while low levels make us uncomfortable.  Here are ten tips to help build trust in relationships:

      1. Keep it confidential.  Be a trustworthy listener and respect the confidence placed in you by not sharing personal information.
      2. Keep your promises and follow through with commitments.  You are seen as reliable when you keep promises and follow through with commitments.  Do what you say, even for small things.
      3. Forgive and move on.  You must be able to forgive and move on to build trusting relationships.  Try to let go of old issues, arguments, and resentments from the past.
      4. Realize that trust is up to you. We are responsible for building trust in relationships, especially new ones.
      5. Trust people who are different from you. It takes much more work to trust people that hold different values, beliefs, and opinions that are different from us.  Look for common interests and use inclusive language that does not alienate others.
      6. Tell the truth. Honesty attracts trusting and trustworthy people.  Admit when you are wrong and make amends as needed.
      7. Communicate openly and honestly. Sharing information openly and honestly allows others to trust your intentions.  Avoid name-calling and negative labels.  Watch your body language and tone.
      8. Be a good listener. Listening well is one of the best ways to show you care and build trust.  Focus on the one talking and don’t try to accomplish other tasks at the same time.
      9. Work at building trust when there is a problem. Talk with the person that disappointed you and find ways to trust the person in smaller ways and allow the trust to be rebuilt over time in bigger areas.
      10. Learn to recognize whom to trust. Do not blindly trust everyone you meet.  Instead, look for signs that the person can be trusted.

      Source:  Ceridian Corp.

       Posted by Pria at 2:43 pm  Tagged with: ,

      Potential SNL skit #1

       Finding balance, Humor, Outlook  1 Response »
      Jun 032010
       

      With my son and daughter at a park on Mother's Day

      Sometimes I feel like my brain is constantly seeking potential SNL skits.  My preteen son has joined me in this and sometimes when we are left alone, we come up with amusing scenarios.  This occurred recently at a strip mall while my husband left to get a few items from a store, leaving me in the car with my son and toddler daughter.  One of the shows I tease my son and sometimes my husband for watching is “Survivorman.”

      It is a reality show about a man surviving for a week at a time in different challenging circumstances, such as the ocean or the Amazon.  I told them that there should be a show called “Survivorwoman,” which I would gladly be the star of.  In this show, I would have to endure trying out top class hotels the world over.  I would be shown comparing the best food, the best massages, the best spa treatments, you get the picture – I would have to survive all such scenarios…

      Anyway, as we waited at the strip mall, we wondered what “Survivorman” would do in such a scene.  It would be called “Strip Mall Survivorman.”  We imagined him waking up in the parking lot, surrounded by a chinese restaurant, Kmart, a liquor store and various other stores.  He would of course do a pan on his camera of the scene.  He would explain to us how he would eat lunch at the chinese restaurant, and what he would eat.  We would then get to see him eat it.  He would then potentially get some alcohol at the liquor store…you get the picture.  Exciting show!  As exciting as watching me enjoy spa treatments on “Survivorwoman,” a show every woman would want to try to survive on…

       Posted by Pria at 9:09 pm  Tagged with:

      The science of happiness

       Gratitude, Happiness, Outlook, Philosophy  No Responses »
      Apr 302010
       
      Maya at Easter

      Maya being the epitomy of happiness at Easter

      According to a feature on The Today Show, 50% of how happy we feel is based on genetics. We can control the other half.  There is a level of hard-wiring in terms of how happy we feel, but we can work around it.

      Perspective, attitude, and optimism matters.  There are ways to be more optimistic and studies have shown that optimists are much happier.  They appreciate what they have and don’t think about what they don’t have.

      Tips on being happy

      • 5 random acts of kindness per week
      • keep a gratitude journal – focusing on what you are thankful for keeps you in that positive space
      • forgive – it releases you from a psychological imprisonment
      • write someone a thank-you letter – pen to paper, not email.  The process of thanking someone makes a difference.
      • getting enough sleep
      • having fun
      • think about what’s true for you, e.g. don’t force yourself to find all your happiness from motherhood if that is not true for you.
      • make your bed!  There is something about the tangible act that helps people feel there is order in their lives and that they are starting their day right.  I have been trying to tell my husband and son this!  I am a stickler about a bed being made first thing.
      • strong relationships – joining a group, throwing a party, and just showing up.

      Source: The Today Show, 4/30/10

       Posted by Pria at 11:35 am  Tagged with:

      Talking deeply, being happier

       Attitude, Communication, Finding Meaning, Happiness  No Responses »
      Apr 212010
       



      It has been reported recently in the New York Times that those who talk deeply are happier.  I’ve assumed this at some level and have always had a desire to engage deeply in conversations.  Blogging about finding balance and meaning is my way of talking deeply (and not) to anyone willing to read my muses.

      Finding others with such an interest is not very common, particularly in the dating scene I experienced.  Small talk can get boring fast if it doesn’t lead to more depth.   To engage in deep conversations, people have to be willing to expose themselves at some level.

      The article states that “substantive conversation seemed to hold the key to happiness for two main reasons:

      • human beings are driven to find and create meaning in their lives
      • we are social animals who want and need to connect with other people.

      By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world.  And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”

      If talking deeply has not been your thing, you can experiment by trying to do some more every day and see how you feel, perhaps with your significant other.  You may find that you two become more intimate.  If you are male, I can almost assure you of it as a female.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard a female friend complain that her mate spoke too deeply with her.

      Source:  New York Times

       Posted by Pria at 3:08 pm

      Adjusting to the unexpected

       Attitude, Finding balance, Outlook  No Responses »
      Apr 012010
       

      My left hand post-surgery

      I hadn’t expected to be nursing a fractured hand at the beginning of April, along with related lifestyle changes.  This includes not driving.  Today marks the two-week anniversary of my fall fracturing my hand and also of not driving.  I probably haven’t driven for longer but it was good to know that I could.  I have also had to have help doing some basic things like opening a jar and anything requiring two hands.  Most significantly, I’ve had to have help caring for Maya.

      For the first week following the accident, I leaned on Colin during his Spring break.  He maintained a good attitude while helping to carry her up and down the stairs, in and out of her high chair and even during diaper changes.  He held her down with his eyes closed and holding his breath while I used my right hand for the dirty work.  Although it wasn’t an ideal Spring break for him, it was probably healthy for him to be needed and to be helpful to his old lady!  I have to get him trained for when I’m older. ;-)

      This past week, we have been able to utilize the assistance of a 23 year-old neighbor who has not been working.  It’s been a good match since she has been able to make some money while we are getting some flexible help.  As an added bonus, we got to know of some general babysitting assistance for when we are ready to go date.  We may end up with a choice of four sitters, whereas two weeks ago, we knew of no one in the area.  We had canceled potentially seeing our favorite singer, Michael Buble, perform as a result.

      Over-all, I am trying to take each day as it comes and stay occupied with my interests along with my family responsibilities.  I added to my writing tasks right after the fall, by joining Examiner among other projects.  I don’t want to focus on the setback with my hand.  I want to focus on all that I have and on moving forward.  I will do what I can with one hand and will just be more efficient with two.

      Tomorrow, it will be one week since my surgery and I will be meeting with my surgeon.  I expect that my bandage will be removed and then I imagine throwing up upon looking at the state of my hand.  Right before the surgery, he told me he would use a plate instead of pins for my broken metacarpals and that it does not need to be taken out and that it would be noticeable.  He also said he would use cadaver bone for the parts where my bone turned to powder.  He said that although the cadaver bone has been tested, it could still have HIV.  He said the cut area of the hand would protrude and then go down.  Aggghhhh!  I was hearing all this after being doped up and just pictured a monstrous hand after the surgery and that is what I’m imagining I’ll see tomorrow…

       Posted by Pria at 7:30 pm  Tagged with: , ,
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