Outlook | Pria's Ponderings

Letter To My Daughter, Maya

Children, Motherhood, Outlook, Parenting, Rituals, Spirituality No Responses »

Jan 282010

My daughter is turning one soon and I’m doing some soul-searching about myself and the messages I would be giving

Maya's first dressed-up professional photo at 11 months

to her. Some thoughts were coming to me (in the shower) about what I would want to say to her (and how I should be living and role-modeling this). I started a letter to capture some of these and am sharing, as I thought it may be food for thought with the start of the new year.

I plan to keep it in electronic form and keep adding to it. It would be a nice ritual by adding to it annually, and give it to her before college. I have a chest where I keep keepsakes for my two kids to have someday – maybe I will put it in there. I separately started keeping notes about her development from the year. In case I end up not being around in her future, I want to share with her what I have learned thus far, that may be of use to her.

Letter to my daughter, Maya

Dear Maya,

It is such a privilege and honor to have you in my life and be your mom. In case I am not able to do so in person when you are an adult, I want to share some life lessons I’ve learned that I wish my mother relayed to me, which may be relevant for you.

You create your own happiness
- Do not let anyone, especially a man, control your level of happiness
Do not wait to be rescued – only you can rescue yourself
- People around you may not have the ability to rescue you.
  - You are empowering them to believe they can control you and your state
    - Don’t give away this basic power that is only yours
- Know when you are behaving like a victim and projecting that out to the world.
As a female, it is important that you understand, embrace, and LIVE the word “empowerment.”
- Many events that can be viewed with sadness, such as a relationship ending (which truly did not serve you), can be viewed as empowering, if you allow yourself to see it that way.
- Know and respect your power and don’t give it away to others
You can only expect from others the level of respect you give yourself
- Never settle on this – know and stand up for the level that you deserve
Embracing your intelligence, intellectually and emotionally, is a good thing
- Do not feel ashamed, question, doubt, and disregard what you know in your heart to be true.

Above all, be open to giving and receiving love. Know that I have and will always love you.

With all my heart,

Your Mom

For more food for thought, check out my expanding collection of Quotes and Food For Thought

A New Year, a New Beginning

Finding balance, Finding Meaning, Finding Purpose, Goals, Outlook, Personal Growth No Responses »

Jan 102010

“Each year gives us new reasons to celebrate, new journeys to begin.”-unknown

This lovely saying is from the front of a card I keep on the board above my workspace, where it is always visible. It is also a very relevant saying as we begin the new year. I have refrained from making any formal resolutions. Instead, I try to be vigilant about any areas for improvement as they come up and take note to address.

January is International Life Balance Month (or quality of life month). It’s a great time to reflect on your life and think about the areas you want to see progress on. Maybe this will be the month and year that you do something about your passions. Maybe there is even a way to turn a passion into a side venture that can turn into something full-time. A recession can be viewed as an opportunity to really be doing something you want to be doing or at least make a start. I feel passionate about writing and being an entrepreneur. This year, I would like to go further with that interest.

What is holding you back? What can be done to get out of a rut if you find yourself in one? I have another quote on my board in front of me: “you will never really change your life until you change something you do daily.” This is very true and we have to aspire to trying to make any change, as minor as it may seem, EVERYDAY. Think about this everyday and be conscious of it.

Another quote I have on my desk, that I have had for many years, is by Henry David Thoreau on goals: “If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to lead a life they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

I wish you all new journeys to begin and new reasons to celebrate. Happy new year!

The Annual Holiday Letter

Ettiquette, Outlook, Rituals No Responses »

Dec 162009

Ahh, that wonderful tradition of summarizing your life the past year and sending that out to everyone you know, is finally here! It’s been said that people either hate or love getting annual holiday letters. I’m a little suspicious of the people that love them.

The letters seem a bit “wrong” and in poor taste. At no other time would a press release from me about my wonderful life be appropriate, so why in a holiday card? It seems like a short-cut to building a relationship through regular communication and time together. If people were interested in minute details of our life, they would have already heard it through our relationship. If they haven’t, maybe they’re not interested?

I have felt that the old-fashioned etiquette of sending people personalized cards acknowledging the recipients’ life is best. It reinforces the relationships you are maintaining and building. Last year, one of my cards included a long heart-felt, hand-written letter to a friend offering support with his recent divorce.

The big event for me this year has been having my daughter in February. Therefore, any card I’m receiving should perhaps acknowledge the birth of my daughter! But no one will get a letter from me announcing this as they would already know that if they are in my life! As for any trials and tribulations, they would already know what is appropriate for our level of friendship! Sending out a letter outlining all this would be trying to replace the effort involved in having a relationship, where mutual events and feelings are shared as they are happening.

One could easily argue that holiday letters are not even good manners! Since when was talking only about ourselves good manners? As much as I like to write and share, I don’t plan to ever write the holiday letter and try not to groan too much when I receive the fine print and am compelled to read them.

If you do write them, try to at least be real and refrain from bragging about your wonderful life. I wonder what President Obama would say in his letter? “Guess what, I became president!” Top that. If you announce your promotion, you might depress the recipient who was laid off. It’s easy to not be sensitive in generic, one-size-fits-all holiday letters. Maybe try to be entertaining and funny if the reader is spending precious time reading your letter!

Best wishes to all who receive and write them, but especially to those that receive them.