It is an interesting issue of perspective when disasters strike far from us and how much it impacts us here.  Often times, it is the role of the media that plays a big part in how emotionally connected we feel.  If the media does not discuss or show emotionally charged images of a disaster, people are less inclined to reach out.

Every place on the planet is far away for someone and thus can be cause for one to feel disengaged.  With the advancement of technology, places have become closer and closer.  Our world is more similar than dissimilar.  A relative recently commented on a photo of my daughter in Utah.  He said it looked like a photo of my ancestral village in Pakistan.  Both are deserts and geographically very similar.

We are all vulnerable one way or another.  If a disaster involved us, we would want the world to reach out to us.  Pakistanis affected by the floods, especially the children, deserve to be assisted.  They did not ask for this, just as the Haitians did not ask for the earthquake.  The magnitude of the disaster in Pakistan may end up being the greatest of the decade, yet the aid thus far has been a fraction of that provided for other recent tragedies.  The following article may provide some insight into why this is occurring:

4 Reasons Why Americans Aren’t Giving for Pakistan Flood Relief – International – The Atlantic

The comments below the article are interesting.  I am attaching the following that resonated in particular for me:

“Uncle_Fred 5 days ago

Observing birds and their nests on a bridge during a nature walk on Mother's Day.

Boredom is a subject many moms are looking at these days as summer break approaches for our kids. It’s a dreaded, scary word that prompts mom to feel inadequate. That’s not a difficult feat for moms on any given day. Seems to be a part of motherhood – our constantly trying to reach the perfect image in our minds. This is continually challenged by a toddler as she continually goes into and touches things she should not – and worse yet, when these items need to be explored with her mouth.

As I’m trying to keep my toddler from eating and touching things she shouldn’t, I am trying to make certain my preteen is “entertained.” Since when did the role of entertainer become a part of motherhood? Kids are getting increasingly entertained by the media and my specialization of marketing. Parents have to be the follow-up act, and it’s tough to accomplish.

My son brought up yesterday that he was bored, after a full few minutes of being in-between activities. I told him that was good! We’ve been engaging in chats here and there about the idea of boredom as we approach summer break. Some of the agenda behind this is selfish, so I don’t get inundated with continuous preteen shows that I already know more about than I care to.

Moms, the next time your child mentions the dreaded “I’m bored” sentence, accept it as a healthy part of life rather than feeling guilty and like you have to be a clown for your child. It is healthy for children to have “down time” when they can reflect and imagine.

Remind your child that if they feel bored, it means they’ve lost touch with the fascinating world around them and that now they can be more conscious of it. When they were younger, boredom was not a concept they knew about. I point out to my preteen how my toddler never gets bored because everything is new and interesting. This is a concept we should retain forever!

In fact, I don’t know of a single adult that ever complains of boredom. At least not a parent. Adults work hard to go on vacation and maybe, hopefully, “get bored.”

Birds building nests under a bridge

Maya being the epitomy of happiness at Easter

According to a feature on The Today Show, 50% of how happy we feel is based on genetics. We can control the other half.  There is a level of hard-wiring in terms of how happy we feel, but we can work around it.

Perspective, attitude, and optimism matters.  There are ways to be more optimistic and studies have shown that optimists are much happier.  They appreciate what they have and don’t think about what they don’t have.

Tips on being happy

• 5 random acts of kindness per week
• keep a gratitude journal – focusing on what you are thankful for keeps you in that positive space
• forgive – it releases you from a psychological imprisonment
• write someone a thank-you letter – pen to paper, not email.  The process of thanking someone makes a difference.
• getting enough sleep
• having fun
• think about what’s true for you, e.g. don’t force yourself to find all your happiness from motherhood if that is not true for you.
• make your bed!  There is something about the tangible act that helps people feel there is order in their lives and that they are starting their day right.  I have been trying to tell my husband and son this!  I am a stickler about a bed being made first thing.
• strong relationships – joining a group, throwing a party, and just showing up.

Source: The Today Show, 4/30/10

We were waiting for Maya to wake up from her nap so I tried to tidy up quickly first.  In commemoration of Spring and to treat myself a little, I had put on my slip-on burgundy shoes with a wide wedge heel that were a post-divorce treat.  You can probably anticipate where this is going…

I had some notes on my sofa table that I thought I’d get over to my desk in our finished basement.  Mid-way down the stairs, near the turn, a wedge heal seemed to catch against the Berber carpet and I felt my self lose balance, literally, not metaphorically.  I was conscious of trying to protect my head from the wall.  In the process, my left hand ended up going backwards, in the direction our hands are not intended to go, with the weight of my body landing on it.

I gathered my wits and sat there at the landing, assessing the situation, after pulling my hand out.  I hadn’t hit my head against the wall in front of me and had probably scratched my knees.  My left hand was beginning to feel excruciating pain.  I remembered hearing that when you break something, it hurts a lot.  And the pain I felt seemed comparable to my drug-free birth from a year prior.  My shoes were laying near me.

The Culprit

Colin continued to play his video game in the living room.  Finally, I calmly asked him to set that down and help me.  Isn’t it amazing how we parents can remain calm and quiet with excruciating pain when our kids are around?  I had him get me an ice-pack, which I put on my hand and continued my task of getting my papers to my desk.  I realized I was probably not going to be able to use my hand to drive and that Porter’s day was going go not as planned.

Going back upstairs, I asked Colin to call Porter and explain what happened and that I might need to go to the local clinic.  Colin thought I was invincible and was trying to process that I was hurt.  I sat in excruciating pain waiting for Porter to drive from Aurora, get Maya situated with Colin as brief babysitter while he dropped me off.

At the Dr.’s, while waiting in the examination room, I let the tears roll for the pain and turn of events.  How was I going to hold Maya?  She couldn’t walk yet and seemed to be about 25lbs.  What about writing and gardening?  Or even cooking and cleaning?  Damn those shoes!  Why hadn’t I taken them off before going down the stairs?  Why hadn’t I gone slower?

X-rays showed I had broken my hand in two places.  I had never broken a bone before.  This was my first, at 41 and with a baby not yet walking.  Not the best time!  We ended up with another mini-crisis as my ring finger was swelling and I could not remove my precious engagement and wedding ring.  In the end, it was cut, which was still a struggle to remove.  Finally, a tech came to the rescue by prying the ring apart with tools while it was pushed up, preventing another cut.  I knew Porter would not be happy with this side development (and he wasn’t).  We have lousy health insurance, so this is not a good financial development, outside of the ring.  Typically, we pay everything up to our high deductible. 

About an hour later, after getting my hand in a splint and bandage and referrals to hand surgeons (I hadn’t connected the dots that this would mean hand surgery, which Porter clarified), Porter picked me up.  It was now about three hours since my fall and I still hadn’t had any pain medicine besides two aspirins at home.  We picked up a prescription for Vikaden, which I finally took at 8:30pm, since it was supposed to be taken at bedtime, after a struggle getting a snug long-sleeve off my hand in a cast, that Porter finally got off.  How was I going to manage shirts?

The Vikaden seemed to help but I seemed to keep waking up andwas lying awake by 2am, feeling my hand ache.  Then finally by 2:30, I thought I’d go ahead and blog to keep my mind off the pain.  So here I am, typing away with one hand.  It’s almost 4am, so I’m not exactly efficient, but at least have the use of my right hand since I’m right-handed.

Related post:  Slowing down

• BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD:  Speak with integrity.  Says only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

• DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY:  Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

• DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS:  Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

• ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST:  Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will void self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.